Thursday, December 09, 2004

'Tis the Season

Between seven and eight at night is the cursed hour. Eli 3.4 doesn't go up for his bath until eight, it's already dark, dinner's over, and he's restless. It's the hour that keeps on giving. And giving. It's the only hour of the day that just never seems to end.

Tonight, though, I have a plan. We're going out to see Christmas lights--as a family. This is something that Gloria loves to do, and every year she has to drag me out of the house, either because I'm playing the best game of the year or because the Incontinent Tire Bowl is on ESPN7.

7:00:00. We pull out of the driveway. "Let's go see some Goofy Christmas lights!" Eli 3.4 shouts.
7:00:45. "Mom, did you bring a snack?"
7:01:15. "I'm THIRSTY!"
7:02:30. We reach the target neighborhood.
7:02:45. We see a yard with four lighted reindeer, a Santa, and all the trees and the roof are decorated with lights. Eli 3.4's comment: "Did you guys bring a juice box?"
7:03:15. "I really want a juice box."
7:03:45. "I always enjoy this Christmas party, but I'm going to have to stay up ALL NIGHT," Gloria says, referring to the impending playgroup Christmas party at our house tomorrow morning. Eight moms and about a dozen kids will attend. Tragically, I will be at work.
7:04:15. "Are we going home? Can we go home now?"
7:05:00. We pass a house with large lighted packages in front. "Hey! Those look like giant juice boxes! Mommy, can we get out and take a closer look?"
7:05.45. "Dinner was just a lot more complicated to make than I thought it would be," Gloria says.
7:06:15. "Is this the way home? It looks like we're going home."
7:06:45. "This was going to be simple. Everyone was going to bring a dish. Somehow it got complicated." Eight women. Complications. Who knew?
7:07:15. "My juice box is going to be TASTY!"
7:08:00. Initiating triage, I exit the subdivision and begin heading home. I'm having a very hard time not bursting out laughing every time Eli says the words 'juice box.' He's like a vaudeville performer wringing eight punch lines out of one premise.
7:08:45. "Hey! This is the way home! Hooray!"
7:09:30. "Next year someone else is definitely hosting this playgroup party," Gloria says.
7:10:00. We pull into our driveway. As I turn off the car, Eli 3.4 says "Man! I hope we can go see Christmas lights AGAIN!"

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