Thursday, April 23, 2009

Eli 7.8: The Stand-Up

Eli 7.8 rode 20 feet on his unicycle today.

That's a first, although he did go past the blue line (15 feet) four times in unicycle club on Friday. I went past 10 feet four times, which is positively Beamonesque for me.

Here are a few stories that piled up in the last week.
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Eli 7.8 went to his first wedding on Saturday.

It was my niece's wedding, so Eli was assigned to man the guest book, which meant he had to dress up to "wedding staff" standards. Here's what he looked like after the wedding, when he'd taken off his tie and was just hanging out:


Yeah--I can't believe how old he looks, either.

The wedding was outdoors, and the grass was very wet from rain the day before. Plus, it was muddy. I told Eli that is was a miracle that his cousins (all younger than him, and all girls) hadn't gotten their white dresses muddy, and we had a good laugh. Then, a few minutes later, he kind of slouched up to me and said "Um, Dad."

He turned around and lifted up his jacket, and he had mud all over his butt.

"Pictures!" I said, and so we took several (including a photo with one of the disposable wedding cameras):


Oops.

Eli also busted some moves on the dance floor. Seriously--they're busted. I only wish I had video.

***

We were sitting in a booth at a restaurant last week, and Eli 7.8 started mucking around, like he usually does when we sit in a booth. At one point, he was under the booth, out of sight, and I said "So what are you doing down there, anyway?"

Right at that moment, he hit his head on the underside of the table and said "Oof." Then he said (from underneath the table), "Apparently, I'm harming myself."

***

Eli came home with his report card today. About three months ago, I decided to add a small "financial incentive" for him in school, because he was getting a "B" here and there for absolutely no reason except lack of attention. So I told him I'd reward him with $1 for an "A" and $2 for an "A+."

Coincidentally, his report card for the next six weeks had no B's.

Today, I open up his report card and it's (again) all A's and above (with the exception of handwriting). I said "Dude, what an excellent report card!"

"Thirteen dollars," he said, laughing.
***

Eli and Gloria sometimes have mysterious battles at the end of the day when he goes up for his bath. He always comes downstairs to my study after he gets out, and last night he said "That girl gives me the Bendix pain!"

I have no idea what is, exactly.
***

Eli was reciting a poem in the car on the way to soccer practice last week:
How much fun to be a hip-po-potamus
And weigh a ton from top-to bottomus

"That's very funny," I said. "Who wrote that poem?"

"Carl Sandburg," he said.

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