Tuesday, August 11, 2009

A Lack (Or Excess) Of Imagination

"That was impressive," I said. The waitress had brought me a new glass of Diet Coke at the precise instant my previous glass was empty.

The waitress, it should be noted, was quite attractive, with a pleasing, sweeping smile.

"Oh, I really like her," Gloria said. "She's been my waitress several times when I've come here by myself. She's friendly, almost in a flirty way--do you know how women can flirt with each other in a non-sexual way?"

"No, I do not," I said. "I am a man. Women cannot flirt with each other in a non-sexual way. They can only flirt with each other in a red-hot bisexual love way. I'm seeing premium movie channel content after midnight."

"Slow down there," she said. "You're getting overheated."

"I just added ten dollars onto her tip," I said.

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