Thursday, September 22, 2011

The Pitfalls Of Medication

I have a long-running, daily series of exchanges with the pretend-to-be-mean person at my office.

I think that's a hyphen record.

These exchanges have a strict format: once a day I walk into her office, we exchange occasionally witty banter for 30 seconds or less, and I walk out.

I've enjoyed these so much over the years that I often wish I had written them down.

As for tone, when she went on vacation, I sent her a link to a corpse farm and wrote "Having a good time?" I also often call her "Lord Vader."

She likes this.

Today, I walked in and she was both staring at her monitor and annoyed, which is often the case. "Man," she said, exasperated, "sometimes I wish that I could give people a frickin' knowledge pill, you know what I mean?"

"You don't want to do that," I said.

"Because sometimes people--wait, why wouldn't I want to give people a knowledge pill?"

"It's a suppository," I said.

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