Wednesday, July 05, 2017

On Airplanes

On the flight from Dallas to Austin, the plane had LCD screens on the backs of the seats.

I've never been on a plane with this feature, and I thought it was a nice upgrade. In-flight entertainment without having to hold anything, right? Just plug in headphones and you're good to go!

Then the murders began.

The screens were bright. Very bright. So after a few minutes, I started looking for the power button and turned it off.

Problem solved.

Seconds later, there was an announcement by the pilot, and the screen came back on, with a "ANNOUNCEMENT IN PROGRESS" label on the screen.

He finished.

Seconds later, another announcement. There was an announcement when drink service began, and an announcement when the trash bag was coming down the aisle, and a third announcement when drink service was over.

There was an announcement for everything, including an announcement that there would be no more announcements, which was a lie, because within minutes there was another announcement.

Look, airlines, when I fly, I'm a minimal information consumer. The only announcement I absolutely need is the one where the flight attendant runs down the aisle screaming "WE'RE GOING TO CRASH!"

Other than that, please stay in your lane, and I'll stay in mine.

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